Jul 1

Jul 1 R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

June 24, 2022 was a sad day for the United States of America. The news that Roe v. Wade was overturned today hit close to home for many, me included. A few weeks ago my husband and I received the amazing news that I am pregnant. It certainly was a different reaction a little less than 16 years ago when I was hoping that 2 lines would not show up on a pregnancy test I took. At 18 year's old, I was faced with a life changing choice. It was a personal decision and no one's business. Yet, our Supreme Court decided today that they have a right to tell women what they can and cannot do with their bodies. I chose to carry the baby full term and then place her in an open adoption. My birth mother made that sacrifice for me, and I was lucky enough to have an amazing support system that helped me with my choice. But my choice is only relevant and specific to me. Humans are fortunate to be capable of making decisions, choosing options, and weighing the consequences. Today, women had something that is innately human stolen from them.

As my husband and I are still early in our pregnancy we plan to do prenatal screening and testing. We of course hope that nothing is found, but have both agreed that we are not capable of raising a child with severe mental and physical disorders. A child who will for the rest of their life need full time care is not something, if we are being brutally honest with ourselves, that we feel capable of signing up for. And it wouldn't be fair to the child to take on responsibilities we are not able to uphold. There are also risks for women who try to carry non viable pregnancies full term. I am fortunate enough to live in a state where what the Supreme Court did on June 24, will not affect me or my husband. But I cry for the women and men living in the states that currently have bans on abortions and the states that intend to change their abortion laws in light of the Supreme Court's decision.

I include men who live in those states in my sorrow, because I think of how this decision impacts them as well. In order for a woman to get pregnant a sperm is involved at some point in the process. I can think of so many reasons why men would also want women to be able to make this choice and not have it be illegal to do so. Forcing a woman to go full term with a pregnancy against her wishes can have such serious consequences, and I have to think that the Supreme Court justices did not think this decision through. Think of the domino effect that this one change can have. When you force people into situations they do not want to be in, it does not end well. They either find a way to get out of it no matter what the risk or the anxiety and stress takes an emotional strain that results in irrational choices that are often harmful to themselves and/or others.

This decision is a scary one. Are we just a hop, skip and a jump away from herding the fertile women and forcibly assigning them out to be surrogates raped by the men of Gilead? And the argument that this prevents discrimination in cases of fetal abnormality is so . . . enraging. What gives anyone the right to tell another person how they should think?! People who are about to become parents should be allowed to take a hard look at themselves and be honest before they take on more responsibility than they are ready to. That has nothing to do with discrimination. How dare Alito for twisting that into something completely unrelated. And to all the pro-lifers, make your choice for yourself and feel grateful for the ability to do so. If you want to be pro life be pro life, but what's ironic is that pro life is pro choice. They aren't mutually exclusive. If you want a person to be able to choose for themselves that they want to carry a baby full term, then you are pro choice. It's a choice meaning that there's more than one option available.

In response to the ruling I have decided to send invites to the Supreme Court justices for my prenatal appointments, so that I can make sure I run any thoughts I have by them while I'm laying on the table with my legs in the stirrups during my vaginal ultrasounds and as my midwife checks my cervix (since it seems I'm incapable of being able to make decisions for my body or the embryo inside it); and if they are unable to attend the appointments, I'll make sure they are aware of everything that happened by sending them photos documenting the appointment. I just want to make sure that they know everything that went on behind that exam door. Did reading this make you feel uncomfortable? Well, that is how invasive this decision feels to me and it's shocking to think that something so personal could be disrespected so terribly. I can only hope that the future generations will continue to have the strength and patience to carry on the burden that we are leaving behind for them.