"Selfies, Designer Coffee & Robots"
It appears the selfie craze has reached new heights. I’m now seeing this behavior more frequently and I can’t help wondering how strange it may look to someone from a third-world country who has just arrived on our soil, tired and poor, and desperate for work or a safe haven.
I was visiting my niece in San Francisco this spring, and we did some sight-seeing around this incredible city. We toured China Town (a must) and then walked over to the Golden Gate Bridge. While approaching the bridge, I noticed a man holding a long stick with an object on the end of it. At first I thought it was some type of surveying device or a recording device for bird calls. I asked my niece what he was doing, and she said he was taking a “selfie”, and was trying to get more of the background in his picture. So, he was holding up this really long stick with his smartphone attached to the end of it and taking a “selfie-on-a-stick”. I resisted the urge to offer to take his picture as I was in unfamiliar territory (i.e.: a rural Midwesterner in upscale San Francisco) so, I stifled myself and just left him to his own solutions while quietly pondering how the advancement of technology has changed the behavior of people in this brave new world.
It is possible this behavior may arouse the curiosity of certain creatures in the animal kingdom, such as the raccoon, for example. Let’s imagine a family enjoying a picnic at one of our beautiful State parks. After a pleasurable feast, the remnants of lunch are covered and left on the picnic table, and the family retreats to the lake for a swim. The hot dogs, noodle salad, watermelon and cute little cupcakes are now invitingly vulnerable, as well as a smartphone someone has left next to all these delights. This is discovered by a raccoon who has been enticed over to the table by all the wonderful smells. With everyone safely away at the lake, the raccoon helps himself to noodle salad and cupcakes, and then looks down at the smartphone lying innocently next to the watermelon. He knows what this is for; he’s seen people put this little box up to their face and press a button – they get a picture of themselves. The raccoon puts his cupcake down and aims the little box in front of his face. After a couple of false starts, he gets the hang of it and manages to get off a number of shots before he hears the family returning from the lake.
The next day, the lady who owns the smartphone gets ready to text the photos of their family picnic to relatives, but all she sees are pictures of a raccoon: holding up a cupcake; spitting watermelon seeds; smiling with noodle salad on his face; and several out of focus or with his nose prominently in front of the camera.
Let’s move on to the subject of “designer coffee”. The sophistication of coffee became evident in the 1950’s beatnik era, where coffee houses were a popular gathering place for the bohemian culture of writers, artists, musicians and other intellectuals. They could be seen wearing berets and black turtle-neck sweaters, playing bongo drums or listening to jazz while debating philosophy and politics and drinking expressos strong enough to raise the hairs on the back of the neck. Then came the hippie era, which quickly followed in the 1960’s, birthing the “new age of enlightenment” and active protest movements. The coffee houses were again a popular gathering place for groups of hippies, where poetry readings and live folk music accompanied the impassioned discourses on the current state of our country.
The hippies wore their hair long, their clothing ragged and preferred to drink their expresso black. Today we have “cyber-cafes” where people spend hours discussing the important philosophical and political concerns of our brave new world; the only difference being the absence of the sound of voices in lively interaction, as the communication is now shared using laptops and smartphones. The coffee houses have also adapted to accommodate this new population of stylish patrons and serve coffees that reflect our changing tastes. These inordinately fancy concoctions of lattes and expressos make it evident we have entered the age of upscale coffee houses and “designer coffee”.
It appears we have also entered the age of robots. I’ve been reading more news items lately about robots replacing people in jobs that are either boringly repetitive or require only minimum skills. Unfortunately, this eliminates jobs for those people who are desperate to find work (remember the tired and poor?). Of course, that isn’t going to stop the advancement of society into the robot age - bravely marching into the future. OK, let’s consider the possible ramifications of this new technology.
I read a news item recently about a hotel in Japan that fired all its robots. How do you fire a robot? It appears the robots were disobeying orders and doing odd things like leaving the building (take this job and shove it?), and annoying the guests. There should be some caution about certain jobs that may not be suitable for robots, such as a security guard. This is a job which requires critical thinking skills and some discretion when assessing a situation, and I wonder if robots can be adequately programmed to do this (?).
Let us create a scenario for an example - on location in a typical Midwestern city. We have a middle-aged couple who are on their second honeymoon in an attempt to rekindle a bit of romance in their lives, and have chosen a particular hotel which happens to have robot security guards.
The couple check into their room, a bit nervous about the robot who is handling their luggage. After a lovely dinner in the hotel restaurant, and feeling amorous and giddy from a bit too much wine, they retire to their room in eager anticipation of a romantic encounter (of the middle-aged kind). She coyly retreats to the bathroom to get ready, while he undresses in front of the mirror, noticing the large belly that has developed from too many good meals, and how white and spindly his legs look, and wonders if he can still pull this off (sure).
All his misgivings dissolve when his wife appears before him wearing an alluring smile and a pink, fluffy negligee – XX-large size. He gazes at his amazingly pink, generously-endowed goddess and they both fall onto the bed with a thud, followed by sounds that are reminiscent of a building creaking and groaning in a hurricane. These sounds attract the attention of the security robot who has been assigned to their floor on surveillance duty. In the meantime, the romantic couple is approaching a critical moment, and the wife, like Brunilda in Wagner’s opera Die Valkyrie, lets out a musically impressive yowl of approval, alarming the security robot into action.
The robot bursts into the room, the wife screams, further alarming the programmed responses of the robot, and it grabs the husband with its claw-like “arms” and carries him, kicking and screaming, out of the room, down the hall and onto the elevator; depositing him in the lobby - the lobby where ten Japanese businessmen are checking in. The sight of a naked, overweight man with white, spindly legs trying to crawl under a display table triggers the “picture taking” response in the ten Japanese visitors and they quickly aim their cameras and smartphones directly where the action is, thereby capturing the scene for all of the developed world to enjoy.
So, ignoring the possible consequences of our technological zeal, the brave new world sallies forth unafraid into the future, where people will continue to be programmed; continue to send selfies to one another; slowly forget what real coffee tastes like; and compete with robots for jobs, housing, a space at the gym, and whatever else robots will require for their comfort and happiness.
Sally’s latest book is “Are You Still Hip? The memoirs of a midwestern Bogemian who moved to farm country in search of the simple life.” To purchase a copy, contact: Sally Marshall, at Wind & Water Studio, P.O. Box 284, Prairie du Chien, WI 53821. Phone: 608-326-0542, or E-Mail: tigerlilly4434@yahoo.com. Price: $29.95 + tax & shipping.
